“Learning To Live Into Forgiveness and Grace”
Sermon Series on the Book of Genesis
(Genesis 33:1-20)
April 27, 2003
Dr. Peter Barnes
First Presbyterian Church

Introduction
      James Boice [1] writes that as Alexander the Great proceeded down the coast of the eastern Mediterranean Sea in 332 BC on the campaign that would eventually take him to the Indus River – the place where he would weep, having “no more worlds to conquer” – he halted his journey at the city of Tyre.  Tyre was a city that Alexander could not afford to leave behind unconquered, so he besieged it for seven months and eventually destroyed it completely.  During this campaign he sent to Jerusalem for assistance in arms and supplies.  But when Jaddus, the high priest, received Alexander’s command, he replied that he could not assist him because he had already sworn an oath of allegiance to Alexander’s opponent, King Darius of Persia.  Alexander was furious, and everyone expected him to attack and destroy Jerusalem when the campaign along the coast was wrapped up.
      As you can imagine, Jaddus was terrified.  Knowing he could not resist the brilliant young military strategist, he thought Jerusalem would be devastated.  Josephus, the ancient Jewish historian, writes that one night God spoke to Jaddus in a dream and told him not to fear Alexander but rather to go out and meet him, accompanied by the people of the city.  All were to be dressed in white, and the priests were to be decked out in their full ceremonial robes.
      When Alexander approached Jerusalem, Jaddus opened the gates of the city to welcome the Greek warrior king.  Moreover, he led the people out as the Lord had directed him in the dream.  All the Greeks expected swift revenge and reprisals, but when Alexander saw the high priest, he bowed down before him.  Paramion, Alexander’s next in command, asked why he, the world’s conqueror, should bow to a Jewish high priest.  Alexander explained that before he had begun his campaign, when he was still in Macedonia, a man dressed as the high priest had appeared to him in a dream to prophesy that he would eventually conquer Asia.  He had received this as a blessing from the true God, and now, seeing the true God’s priest, he worshipped God by bowing to His earthly representative.  God had prepared Alexander for the meeting that the Jewish high priest feared.    
  This morning we read of another meeting in which one person was fearful, like Jaddus, and the other was surprisingly gracious and accommodating, like Alexander.  It involved Jacob and his twin brother Esau and their meeting at the Jabbok River.  As we consider these matters today, there are three things I want you to notice with me: 1) a fearful meeting, 2) a change of heart, and 3) a reluctant transformation.

I.  A Fearful Meeting
      You will recall from our previous study in the book of Genesis that twenty years before this meeting, Jacob had cheated his brother out of their father’s blessing.  Esau had vowed to kill Jacob, and Jacob lived under the threat of that vow for two decades.  Now he was returning home.  He feared Esau, and the night before this meeting, Jacob shook in terror.  After he had sent his possessions and family ahead of him across the Jabbok River, God sent the angel of the Lord to wrestle him into submission.  When the morning of the dreaded meeting dawned, God had worked in Jacob’s life, as well as in Esau’s, and the meeting Jacob feared actually turned into a tender reunion.
      Have you ever been in a situation like this?  You had a meeting scheduled you were dreading, and you were fearful of how it was going to turn out?  Perhaps the person was angry with you, or maybe you had wronged them in the past.  Perhaps they wronged you, but either way, you just knew the meeting was going to go badly.  So you spent the whole night before the appointed day tossing and turning, worrying about the confrontation.  It’s amazing how fear can take hold and spiral us down into a pit of despair and worry.
      I recently read some startling statistics about fear and worry in American life. The author suggested we should avoid a number of things because of their potential danger.  For example, we should avoid riding in cars because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.  Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur there.  Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because that’s where 14% of all accidents occur.  Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.  However, you will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.  Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at church!  And since dying in your sleep is everyone's favorite way to go, if you do die in church, this is virtually guaranteed! [2]
      In his book Laugh Again, Charles Swindoll suggests there are three common "joy stealers" we have to battle against in life: worry, stress, and fear. He defines worry as "an inordinate anxiety about something that may or may not occur" -- it usually doesn't.  He writes that stress is "intense strain over a situation we can't change or control" -- but God can. And fear, according to Swindoll, is a "dreadful uneasiness over danger, evil, or pain" -- it magnifies our problems.
      Swindoll says that to resist these "joy stealers" we must embrace the same confidence that Paul expressed in his letter to the Philippians. After giving thanks for the Philippian believers (1:3-5), the apostle assured them "that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" (v.6).  Whatever causes you worry, stress, and fear this day cannot ultimately keep God from continuing His work in you. With this confidence we can begin each day knowing that God is in control. We can leave everything in His hands.  Someone has said that worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe.
      Is there a relationship or a meeting that is coming up that is causing you fear or worry this morning?  Is your heart burdened and heavy this hour?  Cast your care upon the Lord and look to Him to be with you in the situation.  You are not alone as you face your enemy, and the Lord will be with you every step of the way.  Count on it.

II.  A Change of Heart
      It is obvious from Esau’s reaction that God had been working in his life during the 20 years since he had last seen Jacob.  When exactly the transformation occurred, we are not certain.  We do know that before Jacob left for Haran, Esau burned with anger against his brother for the way in which Jacob had cheated him out of his birthright and the blessing of their father.  He boiled in his heart, and revenge was on his mind.  But twenty years can bring about a lot of change, especially if a person is looking to the Lord and is open to the leading of the Spirit of God.
      The biblical account of the reunion is very moving.  Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming with four hundred of his men.  He divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants, showing a favoritism to Rachel and Joseph by placing them in the rear of the entourage.  Then Jacob went on ahead of his family, and when he approached Esau, he bowed down to the ground seven times.  However, Esau, much to Jacob’s shock and surprise, ran to meet him and embraced him.  He threw his arms around Jacob’s neck and kissed him, and the text says the two brothers wept together.  They had been bitter rivals over the years, these two brothers, but all that melted away in the glad reunion they enjoyed that day. The response Jacob received from Esau was completely unexpected and undeserved.
      This meeting should be an encouragement for any of us who have suffered strained relationships with another person.  It speaks of the way God can bring healing, even to the worst of enemies.  The rift may be deep, but the God who is at work in your heart can also work in the heart of your adversary.  Our responsibility is to make sure that we are right before God and that as far as it depends upon us we are at peace with our neighbor.  This is an acknowledgement that some people may never be at peace with us, no matter how hard we try.  But as far as it depends on us, we should seek reconciliation.
      The fifth petition of the Lord's Prayer is, "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."  Other versions of the prayer render the petition, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us," and "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."  The basic thought of the request brings to light God's call to a life of forgiveness by those who would be Christ's disciples.  If we have experienced the forgiveness of God ourselves, then we are called to extend that same forgiveness to others.
      No doubt someone will object, "Peter, you don't know what he did to me!  How can you expect me to forgive that person?  I have been so violated, and the wounds run deep in my heart.  What you are asking is too much for me to do."  But, my friend, let me say to you, "I know the wounds run deep.  I know that you have been violated.  I know that you are hurt.  But I also know that unless you forgive that person, the burden will only grow and eat away at your spirit.  The weight of unforgiveness is causing you to carry a pain and a burden that God wants you to give over to Him."  Abraham Lincoln once said, "The longer I carry a grudge, the heavier it gets." [3]
      Philip Yancey has written that forgiveness is really an unnatural act, in that it requires us to go against our natural instincts of wanting justice, if not revenge.  But forgiveness is the only way to break the cycle of blame and pain in relationships.  It does not settle the questions of blame; it does not settle the questions of justice and fairness.  Rather, it often evades these questions.  But it does allow relationships to start over again.  It loosens the stranglehold of guilt, and it puts the forgiver on the same side as the party who did the wrong, though I think if we were honest enough to really face up to it, there is not as great a difference between us and the wrongdoer as we would like to think. [4]
      In the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith.  By forgiving another person, I am simply trusting that God is better at justice than I am, and I leave the issues of fairness to the Lord for Him to work out.  Wrong does not disappear when I forgive, but it does lose its grip on me, and God is able to redeem the brokenness of life.
      In the mid-1980s Gordon MacDonald was one of the leading figures in evangelical Christianity, and God was using him in mighty ways.  After gaining acclaim as a successful pastor in Boston, he became president of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, an international ministry to college students.  He had also written twenty best selling books, and he was much in demand as a speaker at conferences around the country.  Then Gordon had an extramarital affair, and his world began to unravel.  He resigned his position at InterVarsity in disgrace, his book publishers canceled his contracts to write for them, and no one called him to come and speak.  To his credit he owned up to his sin, and he submitted himself to a group of wise and godly believers for discipline.  For three years he adhered to their requirements for counseling and the restrictions they placed on what he was permitted to do.
      But what about his marriage?  Gail had been his helpmate for over twenty years, and the affair devastated her.  Would she ask for a divorce?  Would she kick him out of the house?  What would be their future?  Gail writes about those days of difficulty in her book A Step Farther and Higher, and she is candid when she talks about how hard it is to forgive.
      Gail learned to forgive Gordon as he asked for her forgiveness and repented of his sin, but it wasn't easy, and it didn't happen overnight.  However, God has restored their love and their relationship, and He has restored Gordon to ministry again.  Our staff had the great privilege of learning from both of them last November at our staff retreat with our spouses.  It was an amazing time of growth and grace.
      Esau extended grace and forgiveness to Jacob that day.  It was a gift he did not expect or deserve.  Is this not the way of Christ?   What did our Lord pray as He hung on the cross, as His lifeblood slipped out of His body, as He endured the pain and disgrace of death by crucifixion?  He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."    

III.  A Reluctant Transformation
      After the reconciliation with Esau, Jacob insisted that his brother accept the gifts he presented as a peace offering, despite the protestations of his older brother.  Then he refused to allow Esau and his men to accompany Jacob and his family on the journey to Seir.  Jacob offered the lame excuse that they would only slow Esau down with all the children and livestock Jacob had in tow, and besides that they were tired and needed rest.  The patriarch promised to come to Seir shortly, only at a slower pace.
      This proved to be a lie.  We can see from the text that Jacob had no intention of going to Seir.  Instead, he and his entourage went to Succoth and Shechem and settled down there.  As soon as Esau was out of sight, Jacob led his family off in the other direction, which is actually on the other side of the Jabbok River, though farther west toward the Jordan River. 
      What was happening here?  Did Jacob forget his promise to Esau?  Did he get sidetracked?  I think that what happened was that Jacob was still working out his salvation before the LORD, and he had a hard time leaving the old person behind.  God had wrestled with him in the wilderness, and He had given him a new name – Israel.  But as we have said before, Jacob had a difficult time living into his new name, and the fact of the matter is that in the rest of the book of Genesis, the patriarch is called Jacob almost twice as often as he is called Israel. (Forty-five times he is called “Jacob,” and twenty three times he is called “Israel”.)  He is the only biblical character who, after the LORD changed his name, on occasion went by his previous name.  It was as though he couldn’t really believe that God could work a transformation in his life.  So he went back to being the striver, the deceiver all over again.
      Why is it that we have a hard time believing God can do a new work in us?  Why do we go back to our old ways, our old patterns of living after we come to Christ?  You and I are like Jacob all too often; we are a mixture of faith and unbelief.  We want to lean into our new identity in Christ, but we find that it is hard to leave the old person behind.  We want to be “Israel,” but we try to still be “Jacob,” too.  We try to be both persons, but it is an impossible thing to do. 
      I believe that transformation doesn’t really take place in our lives until grace takes hold way down deep in our hearts.  We may make efforts at change, we may be earnest in our attempts to live a new way, but until God gets a radical hold on our hearts, until we are apprehended by His awesome love for us in Christ, the change we experience is only temporary and shallow.  Soon we go back to our old ways.
      We are like the character Gollum in the second of the “Lord of the Rings” films.  We vacillate between who we used to be and the new person we want to be in Christ.  We are divided in our own minds and hearts, and we have a hard time believing God could really love us for who we are.  Sometimes we even sabotage the good work God is doing in our lives because we are afraid to live in the newness of a life in Christ, and we prefer the old ways of sin.
      During the French Revolution all the people who were being held captive in the Bastille prison were set free.  Most enjoyed their newfound freedom, but there was one prisoner who had a difficult time adjusting.  The light was too bright for him on the outside, he didn’t know how to relate to people, and he could not handle his freedom.  So we went to the authorities and requested to be sent back to the prison, for he knew who he was back there, and he preferred a life of captivity to having to bear the burden of freedom.
      What are you in bondage to this day, my friend?  What area of your life is still held captive by the enemy?  In what ways is God calling you to lean into your new identity in Christ and to leave the old person behind?  Let the grace of God take hold of your heart way down deep, and let Him have His way with your life.  Don’t just look to God to make a little modification on your way to becoming a better person.  Give your life over to Him and give up control.  Only then will you experience radical transformation by the grace of God.  Remember, as William Bennett once said, "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."  With Christ you can live a transformed life that leaps into forgiveness and grace.  Amen.